31st

Daily Log

Time Check: 12:20AM
Date: 29 October 2017

It's my 31st birthday. I don't feel old. But my face, skin and the rest of my body confirms it. I should be grateful to GOD for giving me another year to experience His grace and mercy. However, I don't feel so excited about birthdays as I haven't celebrated it meaningfully for the last 10 years.

I've been contemplating about how I spent the last 10 years of my life and realized I wasted so much time dwelling on my selfish and pointless dreams. People just came and go but I was unable to cultivate strong relationships outside my own family. I don't have a fixed group of friends. Neither do I have a lover.

Ideally, I should be building a home/family of my own at this age. But the idea of getting in a marriage relationship with the wrong guy scares me. I'd like to invest in a romantic relationship but I'm afraid I might choose the wrong person. In the end I spent all my vacant time alone with wifi.

I know I should start dating. But most of the guys that come to me didn't pass the basic standards. What should I do? I can feel my skin sagging and my energy depleting.

Dear LORD please grant me the wisdom to choose what is right for me. In Jesus Name. AMEN